Getting involved in a deeply entrenched emotional divorce means that the recovery will be so much slower and more painful. Not only that it can lead to financial and professional ruin.
Only this week a Consultant haematologist appeared before Southwark Crown Court accused of harassment. Over time through notes, emails and texts the wife subjected her Consultant husband to a smear campaign attempting to ruin his career. This was following her dissatisfaction with her divorce settlement which she took to the Court of Appeal. She even went so far as to put derogatory notes about their father in the children’s Christmas presents. The Judge in the case described her behaviour as “distressing …There are no winners here. It is a distressing state of family affairs paraded before us today.”
And what about the comedy of errors that has taken place between Chris Huhne and his former wife which ended with them both being in the dock this week? It has been reported that, having received a speeding ticket, she told the police that she was the driver and thus took the punishment. It is alleged she then repaid his infidelity by admitting that she had lied and as a result they both face a criminal conviction and he has lost his office and risks losing his reputation. The case against the Liberal Democrat former minister and his ex-wife is adjourned to 2 March at Southwark crown court.
So what do we learn from all of this? It is so important to seek proper advice from specialist family solicitors who can guide you through this difficult path and if necessary refer you to other professionals to deal with the emotions that can get out of hand.
It may take some level of self reflection to release guilt and to learn to interact with your former spouse or partner often for the sake of the children and not to discuss it with the children or have them pass messages to the other parent. It is important to release the negativity to move on and to allow the children to have a good relationship with both parents.